I didn’t watch Lance Armstrong finally reveal to Oprah what everyone with half a brain has known for quite some time. And I don’t mean the revelation that he cheated. It doesn’t take even half a brain, or much more than a percursory, sideways glance towards the cess pool of professional cycling, to understand that cheating is so much the norm in professional cycling that it’s pretty much expected that everyone cheats.
No, I mean that it was finally laid bare for the adoring public to see that Lance Armstrong is an utterly insufferable asshole, and has been his whole cycling life long.
For all the aging white guys, in spandex shorts and shirts emblazoned with fake sponsors, harboring fantasies of being like Lance, just like young basketballers did for Mike, the myth is dead. You need to give it up already. Your larger than life hero proved to be nothing more than a hubristic egomaniac; a complete ass. But then, maybe that’s why you so adore him. Generally speaking, you are too. (For all the kids wishing still to be like Michael Jordan, you still can–he really is larger than life–the greatest athlete of the age).
Yes Armstrong survived cancer, but lots of people survive cancer, particularly of the type he had (upwards of 85%), and trust me, after nursing my son through two bouts of leukemia, I can tell you, Lance had very little to do with whether he survived it or not. It’s mainly just a matter of luck.
The dream is dead, you bunch of posers. Your entitlement chit to act like assholes to the folks with whom you share the road was rescinded on Oprah’s couch earlier this week. Lance is an asshole who never did anything except lie and cheat his way through life. You can surely continue to try to be like him, but the cover of a Livestrong bracelet and Lance’s tour victories will no longer serve to excuse your behavior.
You have fallen from grace along with Lance. Nobody ever believed you were anything more than over-the-hill wannabe athletes who never actually were. Now they know. You might want to start minding the traffic lights.