I checked my email after lunch yesterday to find the following, from a person who at least has the same name as a cousin of mine who I haven’t seen nor heard from in over five years, not since my mother died (his mother’s sister), and had only seen maybe a half dozen times in the decade prior to that.  He’s mid-forties and I’m mid-fifties, so we didn’t really know each other all that well as kids, back when my family still attended reunions before the Great Rift*.

Hi [Curmudgeon],
How are you doing?  I haven’t seen you in a very long  time.  I have some legal question about some very serious crimes that I have been the victim of.  I’m not sure how aware you are of any communication chips that the military uses but being a pilot in the army im pretty sure you know what im talking about.  I got married about 5 years ago for the second time. I’m not sure how or when this happened to me but at some point I realized I was being terroriZed via a chip due to hearing people talk to me . Then I realized that they could read my thoughts. I was told things like my wife was being drugged and raped and I would go look for her. I was led to places and terrorizing situations actually believing that my wife was there somewhere. I’ve been told so many lies and have made so many “deals” it’s ridiculous. 24 hours a day 7 days a week non stop. Not one moment of privacy for 4 years. Not even a prayer goes I ridiculed. Taking a crap is like I’m on display on network television.
The reason I even thought of it being a chip is that the lady I married has a brother who works with the government doing top security ordeals. Another thought was that her ex husband , who was deployed to Afghanistan has used the chips in combat over there.  In addition to this my eye just went blind. I learned that many of the chips are put in the eye. I’ve been to the eye foundation and a specialist 6 or 7 times an I can get the records I thought one of those had possibly chipped me and were terrorizing me. I have not done anything to stop this except pray. It has been the most miserable depressing 4 years of my life. I can’t even describe the pain I feel. I have tried to work things out but to no avail. Even today , last night, every day all night I am ridiculed, told I am getting millions of dollars, I’ve been told that I’m a secret agent in training, I’m a FBI agent that I have something nobody else has and they want to use my thoughts, that I can predict  the  future etc. I have attached a letter I wrote in notes with many  of the scenarios I faced each day. They change the radio line up on the radio, I have seen things that aren’t exactly explainable but are images that appear on  or in things at night. ( I have some pics and videos)
[Curmudgeon], this has been something that sounds simple but it has ruined my life. It has caused divorce, broken up relationships and caused my children issues as well. I’d like to talk with you more about this. . Is there a time that we can meet tonight or tomorrow? Thank you for your help and time and I look forward to seeing you.

It admit to being a bit rattled by his ramblings.  I wondered whether I should just ignore the email, but decided the best thing would be to reply (without providing my physical address or phone number), telling him that indeed it had been a while and it was good to hear from him but that I thought that if this thing had caused him to go blind in one eye,  he needed a physician more than a lawyer.

I hadn’t a clue how to contact the guy’s mother (my aunt) to find out if he was okay or this was some hoax or something, so contacted my dad, forwarding the email to him, after describing its bizarre content. I figured Dad would know how to contact his sister-in-law.

That last part about wanting to meet up that evening or the next day was the most disturbing part.  Did he know where I lived?  I retrieved my Colt .45 automatic from its secure location and slept with it by my side last night.

*The Great Rift occurred during my early teens, when the tension between my mother and her mother (my grandmother), always a feature of their relationship so far as I was aware, finally reached the point that it irretrievably tore them apart.  It is my understanding that I was at least some of the cause for the tension.  My grandmother, who my mom felt superior to in every way, but particularly when it came to men (Grandma had five husbands and reputedly many more lovers over the course of her life–she conceived Mom while her husband du jour was slogging through the mud of the Italian Peninsula during WWII), would allegedly taunt Mom with the ambiguous nature of my parentage whenever Mom would act haughty and condescending for having only had two husbands, the latter one a doctor.  Grandma would claim my dad was a man Mom had an affair with while she was married to her first husband.  Mom would deny it.  But Grandma had visual evidence on her side–both Mom and her first husband had dark black hair, him reputedly being a half-breed Cherokee Indian.  And Mom worked at the VA hospital with a redheaded doctor (not the guy she would later marry).  I am Mom’s only redheaded child.  My older sister (by a year and a half), who is the undisputed child of the first husband, also has dark black hair.  Mom and her first husband split up about the time I was conceived.  All of which proves nothing.  But was enough to keep a feud going and them apart for the entirety of my life after age thirteen or so, which is part of the reason I only vaguely know the cousin who sent this email.